The reason I am pretty much giving away the digital copy of my book for FREE (well for only $1) is that I want to remove any excuse people might be making around why they can't stop emotional eating FOR GOOD!
My experience with disordered eating began as a young child and continued through my adolescence and right through college. I had always been relatively thin but I was in a constant state of anxiety about my weight, often worrying about how others perceived me and constantly looking for approval from my parents, ballet instructors, gymnastics coaches, and teachers.
As far back as I can remember, my first thoughts in the morning were always about food and whether I’d be ‘good’ that day; during my last thoughts at night, I’d take an inventory of everything that passed my lips. Instead of counting sheep I counted calories and fat grams.
I followed the strictest of diets and was rigid with my food intake. Looking back now, I can see how my secret relationship with food made me feel like I was in control when in reality nothing could be further from the truth.
When my willpower eventually wavered (which it always invariably did) I’d lose control, binge and then get rid of everything I’d consumed, only to feel nothing but shame.
I spent years looping around that same vicious circle, and eventually, I began therapy. During my weekly visits, I shared almost everything with my therapist. I told her how I was feeling about relationships, my dreams, hopes, and fears. I shared everything in my life except one thing:
I never told her what was going on with food.
Not once in all the time I was in therapy did I disclose my secret and, by the time I left treatment, I was no longer obsessed with food. All my food issues were completely gone and my weight was healthy. I was fit mentally and physically.
How was this possible?
In therapy, I began listening to myself and started being kinder and more self-compassionate. I learned to cope with challenging situations instead of using food as a way to distract myself from them, and I learned how to calm my emotions without reaching for a pint of ice cream or a box of cookies.
I know that it’s possible to liberate yourself from disordered eating because that was, and continues to be, my experience.
If there is only one thing you take away from my story, let it be this: there is always hope.